Surgery Journal

I was told to keep a journal about my surgery because it could be helpful to other people, and it is something that should probably just be documented for family too. I wanted to write down some of my thoughts while they are still fresh, even though I was kind of out of it for several days.

It is insane what medical science is capable of these days. It is also insane how much medical science costs these days, even with decent insurance. I haven't received my final bill yet, but I have already spent half of my income so far this year on treatments. My mom paid on her bill for the same surgery for 20 years, so I am kind of expecting something similar. The hospital is like, "we saved your life, so you are going to pay us back for life." Anyway...

I have known this surgery was coming for 11+ years now. I had my first colonoscopy in 2004, and they told me I would make it to about 30 before things got out of control and I would have to have my colon removed. At least I have had time to prep. My mom found out about her cancer when she was around my age, and they told her she wouldn't make it to Christmas of that year. She had her surgery around Halloween. That was 22 years ago. So, like clockwork, things started getting out of control for me last year. I had a colonoscopy and EGD done every 3 months, and I had more growths and bigger growths between each procedure. They gave me the option of doing a chemotherapy study again, but the last one was too much for me, and this one would have been more intense.

I originally planned to do the surgery over Christmas break, but Huntsman's surgeon left abruptly. I never found out why. They kept telling me the new surgeon would start in a month or two. In the meantime, I had to keep getting more colonoscopies and EGDs done. When the new surgeon (not new to being a surgeon, just new to Huntsman) started, I was scheduled as his first surgery. Then they bumped me back a week because they needed to do an emergency surgery. I was initially kind of angry because it messed up plans with work and travel, but it all worked out. I hope the person who had the emergency surgery is doing okay and that everything worked out. My work gave me all the time off I need because they are very kind, and I work my ass off and put in a ton of extra hours at home and on weekends. Still, it is a major blessing to have such an awesome place to work where they give me the time off I need to recover.

Now for the actual surgery.

I wasn't allowed to eat anything solid for two days, and I had to do a cleanout like my previous procedures. It is all pretty standard for me now, but for the uninitiated, please watch the Jeff Foxworthy bit about his colonoscopy to get a pretty accurate description of what it is like. Just remember that I have to do twice as much of the fasting and cleanout to do the upper GI. I went in at 7 AM and did all the paperwork. I had to sign papers that said people die from this and your family can't sue us if you die, etc., etc. Then I had to strip down and get hooked up to all the things - IV, respirator tube, blood pressure cuff, oxygen monitor, heart monitor, etc., etc. The nurse came in at around 8:30 and said, "I'm going to give you something to help you relax, then we will take you into the operating room in about 30 minutes and I will put you under." That is the last thing I remember.

I woke up around 5 PM and saw my mom, brothers Ben and Chris, niece June, nephew Jakob, and uncle Lloyd. I drifted in and out of consciousness for a while, and then finally came to around 8 PM. I won't lie, I felt like crap. My stomach hurt and I felt like I was going to throw up. Then I felt a sensation down below - yep, they put a catheter in and I was peeing. I knew they were going to do the catheter, I just hadn't experienced that before that I can remember, and it was super weird. I also had those things they put on your calves that squeeze intermittently to prevent blood clots. The nurse came in and took my vitals and said, "try to get some rest." So I fell back asleep. Thirty minutes later, she came and woke me up to give me pain pills, some anti-nausea drugs through my IV, and some other pills. This went on every hour all night. It was impossible to sleep. I also had a machine that would sound an alarm every time my oxygen got below 90% or my heart rate went above 140 bpm, and those went off several times. Not to mention, I had incisions made to do the surgery and pull my colon out, and it was extremely painful. My entire abdomen was insanely bruised and it felt like I had been kicked by a horse.

I watched a video on how the surgery is done, and they basically cut you open around the belly button and insert a ring the size of a cup in there to hold you open. Then they put a camera in there, along with two clamp devices and a cutting device. Then they cut out the colon and pull it out, and then stitch the upper intestines to the rectum. It is very impressive actually. Especially considering they used to cut the entire abdomen open, pull all of the intestines out, and do the cutting and stitching outside of the body. If you've ever gutted a deer or anything, you know that intestines are connected to everything inside. So they also had to separate my colon from everything else, which added a ton of pain and swelling everywhere. The good part is I don't have to wear a colostomy bag.

The next day was hellish. The surgeon came in and explained what would be happening over the next day or two. He said my intestines had been deadened, and they would be starting to "come back to life" gradually. About midday, my stomach started expanding rapidly. I could actually see it happening. I was filling up with gas as things began to come back to life, but I could not get anything out. I was afraid my incisions were going to split open and my guts would start popping out. I'm not joking. According to my mom and the doctors, I turned completely pale and looked like death. I was writhing in pain as the nurses entered things into the computer, got the doctor, entered more things in the computer, and then finally gave me a shot of morphine, a large shot of something directly into my guts, and some oxycodone pills. The whole process seemed like it took over an hour. I finally fell asleep and my family went to the natural history museum while I was out. When they came back, I was sitting more upright and apparently looked completely different. I had my color back and I wasn't in nearly as much pain. My mom said it was a night-and-day difference. I had my first sips of water and a popsicle. My mom hadn't been able to sleep at the hospital, so she went to my house for the night. That night, the intestinal pain hit again pretty hard, but they were quicker about getting me morphine and the shot in the intestines.

I had this really cute female nurse for most of the afternoon/evening, and she kept saying she was going to come take my catheter out soon. I wasn't too keen on that. It's not a situation where you can look too cool. Anyway, it stayed in until the shift change. A male nurse came in and took my catheter out. I wasn't too keen on that either. Apparently there is no easy way to take a catheter out, so he said, "brace yourself and we'll go on three." Then he counted to three and pulled it out. NOT FUN, GUYS. For reals. He said I would need to start getting up to get blood flowing throughout my body and to go to the bathroom. It was not an easy process to get up. I had to take the calf squeezers off, take off my oxygen, sit my bed up, get out of the bed (which was extremely painful on my abdomen), unplug my IV/oxygen monitor machine from the wall and cart it with me. Then I would use the restroom and do the whole process in reverse. It seriously took me about 30 minutes each time and it hurt a lot. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that night either.

The next morning, the surgeon came in and examined me. He said, "I know this sounds crazy, but we can probably get you out of here this afternoon. You are looking amazing." The nurse eventually came and took my IV out and unhooked me from all the machines. She said I could call room service and get a smoothie for breakfast, which I did. It was great. Then the nurse said I could get up and shower. They said it was pretty incredible to be up and showering that soon. They had me on the schedule for at least two more days, but I was to a point where they thought I didn't need to be there anymore and didn't need to be racking up higher bills. My family arrived while I was in the shower, and I think I surprised them when I came out all ready to go, not hooked up to any machines. Unfortunately, we had to wait for the doctor's final discharge instructions, which didn't come until about 4 PM. So we sat around talking for a few hours. I was able to eat a quesadilla - my first solid food in five days. The doctor was across town for another surgery, but he sent over the discharge instructions. Unfortunately, again, we had to wait for his signature on the prescriptions because it was Saturday, and Huntsman's pharmacy was closed. So I had to get his signature to have my prescriptions filled in Provo. We finally left around 6 PM and stopped at Thanksgiving Point to let the kids play a bit at the dinosaur exhibit. I slept in my own bed that night.

The next morning, I left with my mom, Chris, June, and Jakob to come to Reno for my recovery. I slept half of the ride and listened to the kids watching shows the other half. Jakey laughs at everything on the shows and it got me laughing, which was painful but hilarious. We stopped at a place for lunch, and it only had one toilet. Pretty awesome for a stop that is populated entirely by travelers who all need to use the bathroom. We eventually made it to my mom's house and I visited with my grandparents for a bit before going to bed.

Today is one week after my surgery. Everybody is amazed at how well I am recovering. I have always had Wolverine-like healing abilities, but even I am surprised at how quickly I am recovering. However, my life will now be a bit different and there are certain things that I will never be able to do again. There are certain foods I can't eat anymore. Since the colon absorbs a lot of water - TMI WARNING - I will never have a solid bowel movement ever again. I will have watery bowel movements every 1-4 hours. I will be slightly dehydrated all the time, even if I drink a ton of water. I will also have to drink a ton of water just to function every day. My incisions are already looking way better, but I will have scars too - not a huge deal considering I don't take my shirt off very often anyway. I will have to plan my life around bathroom possibilities, so things like hiking, going to concerts, road trips, etc. will all have to be planned carefully. However, I am alive. I am doing well. I feel very blessed for everything that has happened to allow me to keep going. I am blessed for all the support I have received from family, friends, my work, Huntsman's doctors and nurses, and even strangers who have donated money or helped in other ways. Thirty years ago, many members of my family were dying from this condition, and now they can fix the problem with a surgery. That's pretty amazing to me.

Films I Watched in 2014

One of my friends did something similar, so I tried making a list of the films I watched in 2014. I actually watched significantly more films in 2014 than in previous years. I don't usually see films in theaters because I have a hard time hearing, so I often wait until a film is available on DVD. I also can't use streaming services like Netflix or Hulu because of my limited internet up the canyon. But I was a film major in college and I work in media creation, so I thought I should try to see what's new and watch some of the classics again. Anyway, here is my briefly annotated list of films I watched in 2014.

Films I watched in theaters:

Calvary (Sundance) - This was my favorite new film of 2014, though I only saw 11 new films. It is an incredibly dark "comedy" that is not really a comedy at all. It is more of an drama/allegory/character study with some comedic elements. I am drawn to dark films and character study films, so this really drew me in. I don't know if I would recommend it to most people, though, because the last several times I have shown dark films to people, they thought I had issues.

Godzilla (Private Screening) - It's a Godzilla film. Done well, but nothing really new.

The Saratov Approach (Dollar Theater) - This amazing true story was mostly lost on me because the overly-shaky handheld camera made me physically ill. No joke - I had to lay down for like an hour after the film to get my equilibrium back. I have inner ear problems, so most people could probably handle it. It was very distracting, though.

White Bird in a Blizzard (Sundance) - The director and cast spoke after the screening and acted like they were doing something amazing, but it was a pretty bad film with a "shocking twist" just for the sake of being shocking. Bad acting, bad writing, horrible clichés throughout, etc.

Like I said, I don't see films in theaters very often.

Films that came out in 2014 that I watched on DVD:

3 Days to Kill - Decent Kevin Costner action flick. Pretty forgettable, though. 

Guardians of the Galaxy - Maybe I missed something, but everybody raved about this movie. I thought it was pretty good, but not the cinematic masterpiece people made it out to be. I get bored with the extreme over-saturation of superhero movies, so that could be my problem.

The Interview - Hilarious and ridiculous. I expected nothing less from James Franco and Seth Rogen. 

Laggies - Interesting take on the twenty-something drifter who can't get her act together. Usually these types of films are from a male perspective, so it was interesting seeing it from a female perspective. Really predictable, though. And the protagonist is actually kind of a horrible person when you stop and think about it.

The Lego Movie - I watched it with June and Jakob, but there were plenty of jokes for adults.

Lone Survivor - Intense take on a true story. Maybe too much glorification of death, though. Very moving, but some of the slow-motion death could have been cut.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman - Again, I watched this with June and Jakob. Again, plenty of jokes for adults.

Older films I watched again in 2014:

12 Angry Men

Alien

Amadeus

Anchorman

Anchorman 2

Apocalypto

Atonement

Batman (1966, Adam West)

Batman Begins

Batman Returns

The Big Lebowski

Blade Runner

The Book Thief

Captain Phillips

Casino

Cloud Atlas

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight Rises

Dark Shadows

The Departed

Déjà Vu

Django Unchained

Dr. Strangelove

Fargo

The Fighter (like 4-5 times)

Game of Thrones (All 40 episodes) *I’m counting these because they are cinematic, and GRRM said they should be seen as being a 10-hour film per season/book.

Goodfellas

Gran Torino

The Great Dictator

Hanna

How to Train Your Dragon

Inglorious Basterds

Kick Ass 1

Kick Ass 2

The King’s Speech

Lawless

Leon: The Professional

The Lion King

LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring

LOTR: The Two Towers

LOTR: Return of the King

Mafia!

Memento

The Mist

Mr. Bean’s Holiday

Munich

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

El Orfanato

Pan’s Labyrinth

Pineapple Express

Pulp Fiction

Raging Bull

Requiem for a Dream

Rescue Dawn

Reservoir Dogs

Schindler’s List

The Silence of the Lambs

Taxi Driver

Ted

Texas Killing Fields

This Is the End

The Usual Suspects

V for Vendetta

The World’s End

World War Z

A few of those were with June and Jakob, which is why they seem out of place. I also probably forgot one or two films.